Wednesday, 19 October 2016

Magic show

Then the lock clicked and she was trapped. Or at least we all thought she was. I have so many questions like how she fell in with the sharks. Or how she will get out before she... Dies. All I know is she has 1 minute until she drowns or if she makes it that long with all the sharks. Is this apart of the show? I have to help her she is my friend. I shout as loud as I can ''I'm coming!'' I grab my grenade
throw it. Everthing explodes  and everyone dies! Apperantly it was all just a show!
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8 comments:

  1. 100wcbyWonderWoman19 October 2016 at 20:10

    interesting story just I would say,
    she drowns or will she makes it that long with all the sharks. and
    I shout as loud as can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Annabeth19 October 2016 at 21:56

    When your shouting you should put an exclamation point after "I'm coming" so it should read "I'm coming!"
    But it was a truly great story!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Scarface20 October 2016 at 08:31

    you put a period between sharks and or

    ReplyDelete
  4. MJ20 October 2016 at 11:11

    nice story but i think you should describe where she is at the start of the story.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous20 October 2016 at 12:07

    you should have a comma in you second sentence after ''i have so many questions like,''

    ReplyDelete
  6. 100wcbyshady26 October 2016 at 15:29

    cool story

    ReplyDelete

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