The Forest of Secrets
My name is Jack. Has anyone ever told you
about the pot? I know something that no one else does. About 3 years ago I was
taking a tour on the Forest of Secrets. When we were walking, I stopped to tie
my shoes, it took me 2 minutes. Then I stood up, I couldn’t seem to find anyone
so I decided to walk around and try to find the group. Suddenly I
heard something say, “Jack,” so I turn around, I saw a pot. It grabbed me and threw me inside him. But I slipped away! There is a saying, he is in these
very woods!
you need to put ago between years and i
ReplyDeletewalk instead of walking
ReplyDeleteooppssss
ReplyDeleteYou have a great story it's just when you wrote, About 3 years I was taking a tour on the forest of secrets. The Forest of Secrets should be capitalized, because it's the name of a place. So I decided to walk around and try to find are group. I think in that sentence you meant 'find the group'.
ReplyDeleteI see a pot. It grabbed me, through me inside him. I think you should change it so it reads, I saw a pot. It grabbed me and threw me inside him.
{}K, thank you.
DeleteI think it would sound better if you changed turn to turned. Overall amazing story.
ReplyDeleteyou should turn "About 3 years" to about three years ago and I don't understand your last sentence
ReplyDeleteOk thank you I will change that.
DeleteI think you should change 'There is a saying, he is in these very woods!' to
ReplyDelete'They say he is in these very woods.'