Monday 20 February 2017

Laughter

Laughter

     Last year, dad and I went to ‘Tim Hortons’ to get some breakfast for our family.  I asked if I could have a French vanilla.  My dad said, “Yeah sure, do you want anything to eat?” 
    I said, “No thank you.” As we rolled up to the window, they gave my dad my drink first.  So, my dad put the drink in his cup holder without either of us paying attention.  So, after we got all our food/drinks, I said, “Thanks dad.” Then without knowing that I was about to grab an ash tray, I take a sip and spat it all on our van.  My dad was almost in tears, laughing.

5 comments:

  1. You need to start new paragraphs whenever somebody speaks.
    I think this sentence, 'Then without knowing that I am grabbing an ash tray', should be written like this, 'Then without knowing that i was about to grab an ash tray,'

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  2. overall amazing story, but in your first sentence you wrote "me" I think you should change it to "I"
    also in your first sentence, 2nd paragraph you need a comma after the word "said"
    also when you say "thanks dad" you need a comma after thanks so "thanks, dad"
    also I am not really sure but I think "ashtray" is one word so "ashtray" instead of "ash tray" overall nice and funny story.

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  3. In your first sentence when you said me and dad went to you should have said '' me and my dad went to''

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