100wc
You might be wondering why there is a hand
sticking out of the ground. Well, I am
going to tell you. Last week, my father
and I finished making our city out of colored clay. I know that the picture looks really
realistic, and does not look like clay.
My dad and I never do anything together, so he
thought that we could make a miniature city made out of clay. It was going really well, but of course, my six year old brother had to play. So, as I
turned around I took a picture of my brother’s hand going straight through the
ground made of clay.
In this sentence, Well I am going to tell you. You should put a comma after 'well'. Your next sentence, Last week my father and I finished making our city out of colored clay. You could change it to read, Last week, my father and I finished had finished making a city out of clay.
ReplyDeleteMy dad and I never do anything together, so he thought that we could make a miniature city made out of clay. In this sentence, maybe write, My dad and I never do anything together and he thought that we could make a miniature city of clay. My 6 years old brother, it should be six year old.
Thanks
DeleteThat is a cool story, is that based on a true story?
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.
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